Amy Rachel Greene Interviewing Her Mentors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider Authors of The Rules
Amy Rachel Greene : Some people wonder and ask is The Rules still relevant 16 years later?
Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider: Our answer is YES! More than ever!!!!!!!!!!! Women, especially those who IM, text, and travel to men, need to learn how to date with esteem and boundaries.
First some background
We felt the need to write The Rules in 1995 because just about every women we know, including ourselves , was becoming more successful in business, more independent, and even out earning men and succumbed to the erroneous belief that they could use their powerful status to pursue men or be equal with men romantically as if they were in business. "If I can make the same money as a man, maybe I can speak to a man first, ask him out, meet him halfway or even fly out to meet him with my frequent flier miles, etc." became the way women started to think in the last two decades.
Unfortunately we saw first hand that pursuing men does not work!
- Men and women are biologically different period!
- Men love a challenge (bungee jumping, sports, the stock market etc.) women love security (a ring and a white picket fence).
- Therefore a man has to make the first move for a women to truly feel loved and secure.
- If a women pursues a man(approaching and speaking to him first, asking him out etc.) or is not a challenge (too eager or available), he will know it and miss out the challenge of "getting the girl he doesn't think he can get" (a challenge) and eventually lose interest and dump her for someone else (his look/type).
- Fifteen years later The Rules are needed more than ever. Women are hooking up and texting men day and night. They lack boundaries and self-esteem when it comes to dating, even through they are quite successful and rational in every other area of their lives.
Amy Rachel Greene: How are Certified Rules Dating Coaches qualified to give advice?
Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider: Rules dating coaches take an intensive 12-week online course, train with us and have passed several tests proving they know how to answer consultation questions, big and small. They also have to analyze Rules and Non-Rules behaviors and characters in movies to show that they understand TR on every level, including pop culture and trends. Amy, you passed our course with flying colors and are a great commodity to women in need of a dating and relationship consultant .
Amy Rachel Greene: What is the difference between a consultation with a Certified Rules Dating and Relationship Coach and a Therapist?
Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider: Unlike a therapist, who needs tons of information about feelings and emotions, we only need the basic facts. How did you meet? Did he speak to you first and ask you out ? etc. Rules done ( being a challenge, holding out for you by Wednesday night for Saturday night dates.) and Rules broken.
We don't need to hear every fight or detail.We know if a women spoke or contacted a man first, the relationship is pretty much doomed! So we need to know what Rules were done and what Rules were broken. Then we put her on a plan to get her to do more Rules (teaching her to how to more of a challenge) or give him a ultimatum! If they are dating five years, then she is not doing TR because Rules girls give ultimatums and don't waste time with men who don't want them!
A year is enough , then it is ring and commitment time!
Amy Rachel Greene : What is the difference between The Rules for Marriage vs Dating?
Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider: The bottom line is that we are hard to get while dating but easy to live with once a man commits and marries us! As explained in our book The Rules for Marriage. It's about making the man happy and putting him first before friends, work, etc. but not in the dating stages. A man needs a challenge in the beginning.
Of course, RG's are always polite ( Say thank after he picks up the check, but no need to send a thank you note or e-mail, yuck!) or go dutch treat or buy him a dvd player for his birthday.A baseball t-shirt for $25 and a home cooked meal on his birthday are more than enough. No presents from trips, no calls/texts to see how work is doing. Getting a guy by treating him like a king in the early stages of dating in all good in theory, and good luck trying to get a guy like that. He will know you like him and get nauseous!
Amy Rachel Greene: Thank you for your time
Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider: Your very welcome Amy. You are an extremely talented Dating and Relationship Coach. Your clients are lucky to have your guidance , support, and advice on their road to meeting and marrying Mr. Right!
1-866-723-9839 or 1-514-938-6330 International
Amy@datingamanformarriage.com
