Rules Questions and Answers
Q: What makes a man a good date?
Amy: A man who asks you out, pulls out out your chair, asks you questions, doesn't complain or make you feel uncomfortable, is nice to the waiter, doesn't ask you to split the check, takes you home and doesn't try to sleep with you on the first date. A "good date" ends with a kiss and calls/texts/e-mails you the next day.
Q: What makes a women a good date?
Amy: She's a Rules girl! She looks feminine, sexy but not slutty. She wears makeup, a miniskirt, heels, and hoop earrings She is light and breezy, doesn't complain or tell him or her problems, doesn't ask a lot of questions because that shows too much interest. It's enough interest to say "yes" to the date and make light conversation i.e. weather, movies, but not ask personal questions about his work , family, etc. if he likes her, he will volunteer it. She is good listener, ends the date first and thanks him for dinner. Doesn't do more than let him kiss her on the first date.
Q: Can saying no to sex be a trap for women?
Amy: No! Saying no to sex for the first few months is setting a boundary, having self-esteem, not being desperate, and not being afraid if the man loses interest. Because if he stops calling because of no sex, he was only interested in that anyway!
Q: I compare everyone to my ex, he broke up with me but no one I dated gives me the same feeling...what do I do?
Amy: Keep Dating! If he was such a great boyfriend he wouldn't be an ex. He's an ex for a reason. You are probably just remembering the good times, but there must have been bad times if he broke up with you ! You didn't even break up with him, which is reversible. He dumped you. Post your ad/photo online and go to singles events 1-2 times a week until you meet someone else and do TR so this doesn't happen again!
Q: Should I answer someone online if I don't meet their search criteria? He checked "never married" and I am divorced?
Amy: Yes! If he answered your ad, then he doesn't read ads or doesn't care. He liked your photo and thats all that matters.
Q: Should I disclose how many sex partners I had?
Amy: Not if you are uncomfortable about it..not if he doesn't ask, and definitely not for at least three months, after he has said "exclusive".
Q: Why doesn't my boyfriend tell me he loves me?
Amy: How did you meet? If he didn't speak to you first or answer your ad or you haven't done TR and acted "like a catch", he might not feel the spark. Men don't lie , if they don't love you they don't say it. Maybe you met on a blind date or you spoke to him first, so he didn't love you in the first place. Or maybe he did pursue you initially but you broke so many Rules, were too available or needy and he lost interest..either way... NEXT!
Q: Is it okay for a woman to say " I love you" first?
Amy: Never! Then a man knows you love him and the challenge and the mystery is gone. The relationship will be too easy for him so he will act cocky or badly because he knows he can get away with it because you love him!
Q: My boyfriend is staring and flirting with other women...Help!
Amy: Next! Men who stare and flirt with other women will hurt you even if they never physically cheat on you. They are buyer bewares (bad news). It all goes back to how you met. If he didn't pursue you initially or met on a blind date, he may not be crazy about your looks. Or he may just be a player. Either way, you only want a man who pays attention to you! Obviously, men are allowed to look but to stare and flirting is crossing the line!
Q: Is it possible to ask him to wait until we are engaged to have sex?
Amy: Yes, but you can't say the words "engaged" or "married". You just have to say things like "I'm really old-fashioned and just not ready yet". The minute you bring up the words married or engaged, he will know that's what you want and the chase is over at some level. Mystery is what gets a man!
Q: Does online dating really work?
Amy: Yes and it's a great way to meet someone! As long your photo is posted with your ad. It's like a man picking you out at a bar or a party. Without a photo there's no initial spark or chemistry. It's just words. In terms of your part, don't e-mail men first, don't hot list them or IM them. NOTHING! You only respond to e-mails, not smiles or kisses or flirts or whatever the system has. The man still has to pursue the woman, even in cyberspace!
Q: How do you know if a guy is really falling in love with you?
Amy: Assuming he spoke or e-mailed you first, he asks you out every week for Sat. nights and actually says "I'm falling in love with you " or something like that. Men who are not in love don't lie or if they lie when they say it, their actions don't support it.
Q: If I am a great women.. why haven't met anyone yet?
Amy: Are you going to singles events? Do you have an ad/photo online? Do you look sexy and feminine or are you just great on the inside? You have to look as you can because men are very visual and want an attractive partner. A man can't find out how great you are on the inside until he likes you on the outside! Don't stop going to singles events ( i.e. speed dating, online dating, club med. etc.) until you actually meet the one. However long that takes, months or even years. I know lots of great women ,but if they don't work on their appearances or take social actions so they are alone!
Q: Why would a guy ask for my number and not call me? Why would he make out with me and not call me again?
Amy: He might have a girlfriend already and is just playing the field. Or he may like you, but obviously not enough to go out with you . Some men collect numbers and then go home and decide you are not the one he wants to marry so he doesn't want to waste his time or yours or give you false hope. Just know when a man doesn't call, he is not that interested. He has his reasons so don't think about why or when just move on! And don't call him to find out! Unlike most women, men often make out for purely physical reasons without having feelings for the women. They could make out with anyone!
Q: Why wouldn't a man call me again if we had a great weekend together?
Amy: First of all, you don't know if he really had a great weekend or was just happy to get away. But if he did have fun and didn't call you again, it's because fun isn't enough. A man has to feel strongly about you . He obviously doesn't feel you are the one. Maybe you broke too many Rules by going away with him or by your behavior on the trip and he doesn't feel the way you feel about the relationship. He just didn't have feelings he needed to keep dating you . Again, don't think about it other than to examine your behavior...Did you go away with him too soon? Sleep with him too soon? Act needy or wife-y? Not end the weekend first? Then move on!
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Amy@datingamanformarriage.com
