Typical Client Consultations
Example 1.
Amy help!
He is 45 and I am 39. We meet 5 years ago at a bar. He spoke to me first. He was still married and I was in the middle of a divorce.
He pursued me, called me and we saw each other almost every week for five years.
He told me he loved me and finally got a divorce a year later, but shortly told me that he needed to find himself.
I was devastated, we both dated other people for five months. Then he started to call me again, we started seeing each other, he asked me to move in with him, we have lived together for four years. He recently bought me a new car and a diamond tennis bracelet. I thought things were fine. Last month I went out of town. When I came back out of the blue he said he was not happy and has not been for the past year-that he did not know what he wanted.
We had planned a trip to Canada-he said we would go and see how things went. The whole trip he was not affectionate, talked to me very little. When we got back he said he was not in love, that he wanted to be alone. He has been married twice before and is not sure he wants to do it again. Needless to say, I am devastated and looking for a place to live.
Recently, he said he wants to love me again, but is not sure. Having read TR, I realize I have made things too easy for him. I moved in , settled for less than marriage, and was available at a moment's notice.
I love him and I want to know if there is any hope for this relationship.
I don't want to start dating again. Is there anything I can do to save it or is it too late? It is difficult for me just to move on- I am not eating or sleeping . My whole life has changed overnight. Our friends and family are as shocked as I am . If he doesn't marry me, I feel like I wasted 5 years on him.
Help!
Liz
Example 2.
Hi Amy,
I meet a guy at a charity event in NYC on a Friday night a few months ago. I am 35, never married and live in Queens. He is 42, divorced with 2 kids and lives in long Island.
He came up to me and started talking about this and that and asked me for my number in about 10 minutes. He was cute, but I had my eye on another hotter guy, a 38 year old bachelor, who is really well known in NYC, a real catch. The bachelor also took my number and gave me his, but I saw him hitting on other women as well. I couldn't stop thinking about him for months after wards regardless.
Anyway, the divorced guy called and asked me out. We agreed to meet in NYC because I work there anyway the following Friday night. He took me to a nice restaurant and paid for everything and we walked around looking at windows on Fifth Avenue. I still had the bachelor guy on my mind and was hoping he would call.
Anyway, the divorced guy asked me out again the following Saturday night and I said yes. This time he drove to my apartment and bought me flowers. We has sex and then he said how I was "the woman of his dreams" and that he saw a future with me! On the next date Valentine's day, he bought me jewelry and said he wanted to see me more often , like 3x a week. The bachelor still hadn't called so I said" yes" because nothing else was going on with me. On the date after that, he introduced me to his kids. After, 3 months, we were seeing each other 4 or 5 times a week and meeting in the city or at his place and he was talking engagement rings and marriage. He said "I love you" and I said it back but he was more crazy about me than me about him. I was thinking about the bachelor guy who still hadn't called.
Then I decided to call the bachelor guy pretending I was interested in another charity event because I wanted to know what was up so I could put all my energy into the divorced guy. The bachelor couldn't remember who I was and I heard a girl in the background, so I just hung up.
So I started to focus on the divorced guy and called him and saw him more. Then he asked me to join him on a business trip to Florida for for five days and I said "sure". So while he was working, I looked at rings and wedding dresses and got really excited about getting married now that the obsession with the bachelor guy was over. Over dinner, I told him what I liked in a ring and he said business was really bad and that he didn't know if he could commit.
He called me the day after we go home from Florida to say that he " could not be in a relationship" and get his business back on track and that I was monopolizing his time and that he had no money to buy a ring.
It's been 2 weeks and I haven't heard from him since. I called/e-mailed/texted and he hasn't returned my messages. I still have his i-pod and some presents he gave me. How can he go from hot to cold on one trip? Is there anyway I can get him back? Do I return his i-pod? Can I call the bachelor again?
Thanks,
Carrie (crying in Queens)
1-866-723-9839 or 1-514-938-6330 International
Amy@datingamanformarriage.com
